The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
