Redeem this text for a blowjob
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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