I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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