Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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