WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize