I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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