This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
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