So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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