this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
false alarm, still single
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize