i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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