I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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