Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
