brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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