It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Houston, we have a blender
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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