Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
