Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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