No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
