Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
