They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
