spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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