Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize