why didn't you poke me back
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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