I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
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Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
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I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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