....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Banned from zoo.
Again?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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