I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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