I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
