i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I believe in your delicious
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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