Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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