On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
