it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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