I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
