he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I wish they made helmets for livers.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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