Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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