What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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