Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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