it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I need to align my fucking chakras
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
