He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
