Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
