Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
