when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
my shit smells like andre
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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