Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we made out on top of his cat.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
