just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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