I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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