she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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