I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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