ugly people sure do ruin things
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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