Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
