that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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