I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
