I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
