He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
