I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
