The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
