you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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