It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
