im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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