Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
tell your sister to shave her snatch
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We had sex on a dog bed..
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
