Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
As shirtless as possible
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
