I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
