I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
