Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I will be naked everywhere
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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