Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
the day after is always just damage control
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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