Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.