HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner