im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize