fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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