he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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