You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
