How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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