Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
