i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
